All you need to know about potty training

Most families will experience the ups and downs of potty training at one time or another. Nicola Lilley, a health visitor with the Trust, gave us her top tips for toilet training.

Wait until they are ready

Don’t feel pressured to start toilet training if you do not feel your child is ready. Toilet training is more likely to be successful if you let your child set the pace. If your child isn’t ready, success will take longer and the likelihood of accidents is greater.

When are children ready to toilet train?

There is no right age to start toilet training. Most children are around two-years-old but many are nearer three-years-old before they start showing signs of being ready.

Seven signs your child is ready to start toilet training

1. has a dry nappy for 1.5 to 2 hours during the day
2. has a regular or predictable time for having a poo
3. let’s you know when they are having a wee or a poo in their nappy
4. able to understand a simple question, such as “do you need a wee?”
5. can get on and off the potty and is able to pull their pants up or down with only a little help
6. enjoys praise
7. shows an interest in other people’s use of the toilet and likes to copy

Disposable nappies are so absorbent that your child may not have felt wet after having a wee. Try lining their nappy with some kitchen towel or toilet roll to help them develop an awareness of feeling wet.

Problems with pooing 

Not wanting to go for a poo is most common in two to four-year-olds but can also affect school age children.

It is often triggered by an episode of constipation. Your child should be having a poo four times a week. If they are going less often than this it may become hard and dry, making it painful for them to go. They can become so terrified of experiencing this pain again that they hold on to their poo for days or even weeks at a time. This online childhood constipation tool helps you understand if your child has constipation.

Refusal to use the toilet and withholding poo can become a battle of wills between a parent and child. However this can often be resolved through the consistent and positive use of a reward system, which encourages a change in behaviour. Ask your health visitor for support.

Your child should also be reviewed by their GP to rule out any medical conditions. The doctor might also prescribe laxatives which may be needed as part of the toilet training programme. 

Top tips for helping your child poo on the toilet

• Increase your child’s fluid intake to help soften their poo. Try homemade ice lollies (water and fruit juice) if they are reluctant to drink
• Massage their tummy in a clockwise motion before they sit on the toilet
• Sit your child on the toilet 20-30 minutes after a meal. This makes the most of the body’s natural reaction to go to the toilet after eating
• Make sure their feet are firmly supported and flat on a box or stool. Knees should be above the hips and your child should feel they are sitting securely. You may need a children’s toilet seat.
• Rock backwards and forwards whilst sitting on the toilet
• Blow bubbles! Laughing, coughing and blowing all help a poo to come out
• Give your child some toys or books to look at whilst sitting on the toilet
• Praise your child, even if it’s just for sitting on the toilet. Use stickers as a reward.

Your local health visiting team can help with many aspects of family life including toilet training. Details for your local health visitor should be in your child’s red book or visit www.nottinghamshirehealthcare.nhs.uk/health-visiting.