Autism Acceptance Week: “I was always classed as the ‘weird kid’ who nobody wanted to talk to”

For Autism Acceptance Week, we’re sharing a story from Tom Hewitt, 32, who works at the Trust as an IT Service Desk Analyst. Tom was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (now known as autism) at the age of 18 and talks about his experiences growing up, being classed as ‘the weird kid’ at school, his struggles with social interactions and how he found it hard to fit in. He also suffers from Generalised Anxiety Disorder, (GAD), a long-term condition which causes a person to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than one specific event.

Tom is really proud to work for Nottinghamshire Healthcare and says since day one, the Trust has welcomed and accepted him into the organisation, and for the first time in a long time, he feels proud to say that he works not for, but with a company that looks after and respects its employees like him. 

Thomas (Tom) Hewitt, IT Service Desk Analyst

 “I’ve worked at Nottinghamshire Healthcare since September 2022 as an IT Service Desk Analyst, taking queries from colleagues across the Trust and helping them to resolve their IT issues" explains Tom. "I’ve worked in various roles and sectors including education and libraries, retail and journalism. I live on my own, but I’m very close to my family and partner who live nearby.

“I didn’t get diagnosed with autism until I was 18 under the Nottingham City Autism Service which is now the Neurodevelopmental Specialist Service run by the Trust. Before my diagnosis, I felt like my life had no purpose and my prospects were limited. I never believed that I could go to university, and I was stuck in a vicious circle of sitting in my bedroom and doing nothing other than going to work in my then current retail job.

 “My parents did all they could to encourage me. I barely had any social interactions with others, and if I did with the people I called ‘friends’, it never felt right and comfortable for me, because I found it hard to fit in and enjoy others company, as well as being in public environments.

 “I was always classed as the ‘weird kid’ who nobody wanted to talk to”

“I never knew that the way I acted both at primary, secondary and college was ‘wrong’ so to speak. I was always classed as the ‘weird kid’ who nobody wanted to talk to, and if they did, it was to make fun of or belittle me to the point where my confidence was extremely low. Looking back at my experiences in education, If I had been diagnosed a lot earlier, with the proper support in place, my prospects would have greatly improved and I know I would have achieved the success I was predicted, especially with my GCSEs.

 “Growing up before being diagnosed with autism felt normal to me, because I never knew it even existed, and I think that was also the case with other people’s views of me. In my opinion, people hardly knew about autism, especially in the early nineties, and it was only by chance when my dad found a leaflet at my local GP about autism, that I understood more about myself. It was like pieces had been missing in puzzle and it was all starting to come together and make sense.”

 Autism has and continues to affect Tom in various ways, and it is often a daily struggle for him to keep his anxieties in order. He was also diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, (GAD) seven years ago. GAD is long-term condition that causes a person to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than one specific event.

 “The challenges I face most days is my constant inability to relax. I find everyday conversations alien and being in environments that make me feel both panicky and uncomfortable. My anxiety has and continues to take its toll on me mentally and physically, and although I am currently taking anti-depressants to help relieve some of the constant tension, I often find it a struggle to feel relaxed. As soon as I manage to solve one anxious thought, another may appear around a different issue, which in turn becomes a vicious circle of worry.

 “Despite the difficulties I face on a regular basis, I do find that autism has been a blessing in some aspects of my life, especially as I’ve grown order. Although I may struggle with everyday tasks that many of us would find normal and easy, such as cooking, routines, cleaning and DIY, I learn more about myself every day, and I am proud of the person who I am today. I enjoy helping others and working in an environment where I feel valued and respected like the NHS, and I am a firm believer in giving back for all I’ve received.

 “Autism is part of who I am, and I have learnt to accept and embrace both the negative and positive impacts that it has on my life. I remember being asked a question many years ago, ‘If I could remove autism from my personality, would you’ and I immediately said no. Because at the end of the day, we’re all different and we all have our good and bad points. Nobody is perfect and we all mistakes, and I strive each and every day to improve myself and be a better person that the one I was yesterday.

 “I find making myself at least laugh once a day, really makes a difference to my mental health. I’ve also found that for me personally, a mixture of Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR), counselling and medication, really goes a long way to helping me feel more control of my life and understand what is or was troubling me and how I could work to manage this going forward.

 “For the first time in a long time, I feel proud to say I work not for but with a company that looks after and respects its employees like me”

 “Since day one, the Trust has welcomed and accepted me into their organisation, and for the first time in a long time, I feel proud to say that I work not for, but with a company that looks after and respects its employees like me.

 “My managers and colleagues I work with have been very supportive in my current IT role and I appreciate all the guidance and knowledge they’ve shared with me. I can quite honestly say that I look forward coming to work, knowing that the support is there if I need it.

 “For the future, my goal is to climb up the ladder in IT and pursue a career in Systems. I’m also interested in working in the Communications sector and IT Training.

 “Never let anyone tell you that you can’t succeed in life.”

“To those out there who are on or know a person on the spectrum; please try to be considerate and patient with us. We may take a bit longer to process our thoughts and emotions, and yes, we may struggle with things you find easy to do, but to us in theory, we find them challenging, but we are always learning about ourselves each day, and we are trying our best to find our place in this world, so please give us time and understand that we are giving our all.

“Be proud of who you are, and never let anyone tell you that you can’t succeed in life. Life is too short to live with regrets, and every day, I wake up with the mind-set that autism is a part of me whether I like it or not, and I accept both the positive attributes and flaws about myself. Remember: autism is a blessing, not a burden, so embrace being different and go out there and be you.

Visit the Trust’s Neurodevelopmental Special Service web page for more information on this service.