As part of Experience of Care Week, we’re sharing a story about the valuable work of one of the Trust’s community nursing teams and how they supported end of life care with care and compassion for a truly amazing gentleman and his family.
Jill Cowley’s father, Douglas, was aged 92 when he passed away. She is immensely grateful for the support she received from Retford and District Community Nursing Team for the care and compassion they gave her father during his last days.
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| Douglas with his grandson George |
Read Jill's story:
“Dad
was 92 when he died but lived a fulfilled life working in the Parachute
Regiment during WWII, serving in the Middle East and latterly as Transport
Manager for his father-in-law," explains Jill. "He maintained his military connections by
joining the Royal Observer Corps (ROC), which resulted in him parading before
the Queen on several occasions and was with them until they were stood down. He
continued to parade the ROC flag until his 80th birthday, both
locally and at the Cenotaph in London.
“Both my mum and dad came to live with us in 2006. Dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2008, the week my Mum died. He continued to live with us until he became terminally ill and thankfully, we were able to ensure he had as fulfilling a life as possible. With the support of George, my nephew from Australia, he was even able to lay the Remembrance Day wreath in the village for the last time, on his 92nd birthday, less than three months before he died.
“Dad
died just prior to lockdown but there was no immediate family to support me. My
nephews were very supportive but living in Manchester and Australia, it was my
friends I turned to for support."
In spite of a continued deterioration in Douglas’ mental and physical health, Jill and her partner were able to continue looking after him at home.
“With
the amazing support of our GP and given that both my partner and I were
nurses, we cared for dad at home,” said Jill. “We were able to ensure a
dignified life and death for Dad. It was the final 48 hours that became crucial
for us to support and maintain Dad at home. After discussion with our GP we
were allocated an evening visit for the nurses to commence medication to keep
Dad comfortable, free of pain."
Amy Adams, staff nurse in the Retford and District Community Nursing Team at the Trust, visited Douglas and the family the following morning.
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| Any receiving a book as a thank you for her support to the family |
“When Amy arrived, Dad roused himself enough to speak and they were the final words he spoke," said Jill. "Amy was like a knight in shining armour ensuring that we had all the practical kit we required; a hospital bed, a mattress to maintain viability of the skin, continued pain relief via a syringe driver, incontinence materials, mouth care equipment, mobilising additional end of life services, everything we required to look after Dad at home.
“In
addition to all the practical support, Amy’s presence enabled me to become a
daughter again, not a carer. Her recognising I needed that was probably the
best thing for me. It gave me the emotional strength to continue looking after
Dad at home. Every team member who visited that last 48 hours was lovely, we
were so lucky. Even after death the doctor who came to certify Dad treated him
and us with the greatest of respect.
“For me, the Retford and District Community Nursing Team was a vital service, affording Dad to die at home, as comfortable as possible. If there truly is such a thing as a ‘good death’ that was it. He died at home, in his own bedroom, with the sun pouring in through the windows and with his closest family by his side. There was NO drama, no other noises or distractions, no pain. There WAS a controlled, peaceful, safe environment where we, as family, could carry out Dad’s wishes. All enabled by the wonderful nursing team, who, busy as they were, helped us to feel so special and provided all that we needed.
“As we began to emerge from lockdown, I wanted to acknowledge the work of the community nursing team and asked for a surprise presentation of a signed book to be given to Amy, who had such an impact on our very challenging time. I have the immense privilege of being a friend of one of the authors, Ben Lovell, and this excellent book ‘Clinical Skills, Diagnostics and Reasoning’ by Ben Lovell, Mark Lander and Nick Murch, I know will be useful for Amy, as it is for doctors in training, paramedics, nurses, all clinicians.
It was a huge shock when Jill came to Amy's place of work to present her with a gift in recognition of the care and support she gave to her father, herself and her family.
Amy said: "I’m not often lost for words, but I was
left speechless that someone would take time out of their own day to come and
show this act of kindness and recognition. I don’t do my job for any special
praise or acknowledgement - during that palliative support visit I was simply
‘doing my job’ the same job that all the fantastic community nurses do day in
day out. As community nurses we are in such a privileged position to be able to
support our patients wishes to pass away peacefully in their own homes,
surrounded by their loved ones. I think what families often don’t realise is
that we often share a cry with them too...ours just tend to be in private as we
walk out of their front door. It’s this emotion that really displays the care,
empathy and understanding we have for our patients and their families. A
special thank you again to Jill for the lovely gesture, it really did mean a
lot. I absolutely adore my job and I’m so proud to say I’m a community nurse.
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